Sherlock Style Camping
by Riellebay
Summary: When Sherlock Holmes is bored (AGAIN!) John suggests camping. But remember, camping is anything but normal with Sherlock!
1. Camping?

Mid afternoon in London, England Sherlock Holmes was once again, bored. Sherlock sat across from John in his tall black arm chair glaring at John.

"John, I'm..." Sherlock started,

"Sherlock, if you are going to tell me for the 56th time today that you are bored, I'm not listening." John interrupted. Sherlock closed his mouth then opened it again to finish.

"Bored."

"Sherlock, perform some experiment, go for a walk, or at last resort go read a book or something! Do whatever you find entertaining" John said with an annoyed tone waving his hand in the air then returning to his own book.

"OH GOD JOHN! I've run out of experiments, a case hasn't come up for months! And for God's sake John, you haven't even let me smoke!" Sherlock half wined half yelled. John looked up and raised one eyebrow,

"Yeah, no." John stated and kept reading.

"Fine then." Sherlock grumbled, stomping off to his room. Sherlock was lying on his bead counting all the bumps and groves in the ceiling with nothing else better to do when John came in.

"Oh hello John, have you come to tell me to read a book again because I've already memorized every word from every book in this flat." Sherlock said first energetically then flatly.

"Oh really?" John asked.

"Yes, would you like me to recite page 105, paragraph 3 of "The ABC and XYZ of Bee Culture?" Sherlock asked with the tone of: _I'm going to recite it whatever you say._

"No I would not like you to do that!" John tried to say while Sherlock already started,

"Explore the secret lives of bees while getting answers to questions like 'Can a bee hear?' or 'How does Nectar becomes honey...?'- "

"Alright, alright!" John interrupted.

"Just go and… do whatever a Sherlock does, just entertain yourself!" John finished desperately trying to get Sherlock to do something. Sherlock looked at John for a moment then spoke,

"Fine. If you aren't going to do anything, I will be in my room counting ceiling groves." Sherlock said solemnly and slightly angered. John sighed, and held his book back in front of him; John looked over in the direction of Sherlock's room then back at his book then to Sherlock's room. John got up and walked over to the door and opened it ever so slightly to find the detective doing exactly what he said he would be doing, wow Sherlock must have been really bored to stoop down to this level of non intelligence.

"Why don't we go camping?" John suggested.

"Camping?" Sherlock asked sitting up, "You mean camping as in, go to the woods? Because I have a few... things to do in the woods..." Sherlock finished sinisterly. John looked at Sherlock in alarm,

"I don't even want to know." John said quickly, "Here, start packing" He said as he ventured into the detective's room grabbing a large bag.

"CAREFUL JOHN!" Sherlock exclaimed.

"That has my **dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane** eyeballs experiment in it!" Sherlock warned John, enunciating the sesquipedalian word perfectly with unnecessary flourish.

"I thought those were in the microwave." John answered

"No John" Sherlock said rolling his eyes as if it was so obvious "Those are my dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane**nethol** eyeballs" Sherlock finished, murmuring something about regular people being so stupid. John glared back at Sherlock and tried several bags with different experiments including dust settlement affecting the economy which he claimed was for Mycroft until finally an empty one was picked up and chucked on to Sherlock's bed. John continued to his room and picked up a large duffel bag off the floor, and packed a few shirts and other articles of clothing. A small beep noise was sounded out of John's phone, John glanced down at the screen and read the message: Have fun on your trip, I have sent a car to escort you to your location. I also included a tent, food and sleeping bags for you two. -Mycroft Holmes (no need to thank me)  
John shook his head, how the hell did Mycroft know what they were always doing?! A loud bang came from downstairs,

"SHERLOCK!" John yelled, he ran to Sherlock's room and opened the door. The detective was shoving a bulky piece of science equipment into a bag full of more metal and petri dishes along with a mini microscope.

"Where are all the clothes you'll be needing?!" John asked, suddenly wondering if Sherlock had anything other than suits.

"Oh John, don't be silly I'm only packing light, hence the mini microscope I'll have room..." Sherlock trailed of as his luggage started to overflow with a bubbling liquid starting to fizz.

"What. Is. That." John demanded.

"Absolutely... nothing." Sherlock answered suspiciously as he pushed the container down to the bottom of the bag.

"Never mind" John said, "Come on, Mycroft sent a car for us" John said running down the stairs.

"No." Sherlock answered, "Anything Mycroft sends I am not getting into."

"Fine then..." John said turning around only to turn again and grab Sherlock's bag and run to the window holding it outside.

"JOHN! Don't, you wouldn't dare! That is 100 pounds worth of equipment!" Sherlock shouted.

"Oh yes I would!" John answered nodding, "One step closer and I drop it, walk to the car I don't." John stated as if this were a game.

"Fine." Sherlock said slowly putting his hands up like he was being arrested. He walked to the car and got in.

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John drove out to a remote area near a forest and told Sherlock to help unload.

"Um, No." Sherlock answered cheekily.

"Fine." John said angrily. Because of Sherlock's refusal, John hiked up the forest holding everything on his back, his hands, and his arms with Sherlock scrutinizing every inch of potential camp sites for good _experiment areas _as Sherlock had put it. At last after about 4 hours the pair found a good enough site. John set the luggage down and began to set up camp, after all it was getting dark and Sherlock was most defiantly not going to help. John took the tent out of the bag and looked at the instructions he attempted to stake the shelter down when Sherlock insisted on someplace else because that was the only good experimental ground. However the rest of the site was on a slanted hill, and no matter how much John explained Sherlock refused to budge as he set up all of his own things on '_his' _campsite. After a painstakingly long attempt of tent set up John finally got the tent to stand up somewhat straight. John made fire and cooked food. The sky darkened and storm clouds began to form a spitting rain started which turned into a pour. Sherlock and John more like John took his food into the tent while Sherlock sat quietly in the dim yellow light of the lantern that John hung near the top of the tent then he told Sherlock that the experiments would have to wait till morning. After John got a fussy Sherlock to actually calm down because of the wait for the experimental process they looked for the mattresses and sleeping bags that Mycroft had supplied that John had no time to set up while he was cooking. The two found one mattress but no other, and two sleeping bags meant for couples, the kind that are attachable but don't have to be. The mattress was king sized and John rolled his eyes and furrowed his brows blowing up the air mattress desperately wanting to punch Mycroft in the face. Soon after it was done inflating, Sherlock said he would sleep on the floor of the tent and John could have the mattress. John wanted the mattress to himself so he didn't argue. John turned off the lantern and got to sleep.

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12:35 am in some forest John Watson awoke to the sound of lighting strike startling him. He sat straight up eyes wide open and turned to his friend on his left. The sleeping bag was unzipped and empty.

"SHERLOCK!" John yelled concerned, he then grabbed his rain coat and ran outside still in his pajamas bare foot looking around frantically through the thick sheets of drenching rain for his friend. John spotted a tall figure crouched down near a tree with his back facing John.

"Sherlock?" John ask shouted, the figure turned and replied

"Yes?" Sherlock answered

"Bloody hell Sherlock! What are you doing out here?!" John yelled over as he ran through the rain to the soaked Sherlock.

"Experiment… Trying to set this tree on fire!" Sherlock replied striking some flint and steel together.

"Oh for God's sake Sherlock! Get back inside now! Or you'll be hit by lightning!" John tried to reason.

"Calm yourself down John! Just until it ignites!" Sherlock insisted.

"Well I'm not leaving you alone." John stated, he sat down on a stump nearby and huddled into his jacket. John watched for awhile until he dozed off and fell asleep in the rain leaning against a tree.


	2. pneumonoultramicroscopicsilico

**Authors Note: Second chapter! Just saying when it says "p****neumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis"**** This 45 letter word is the longest word in a major dictionary. It is a disease of the lungs caused by inhaling very fine silica dust. Another term for the same condition is silicosis. So yeah, just so you don't have to look it up :D, reviews please!**

John nodded his head to the toasty feel of a camp fire in front of him. John gradually and lazily opened his eyes to a raging fire a meter away from him.

"SHERLOCK! What the hell! How did you?!" John started; the tall detective was sitting on a stump marveling at his master piece in thinking position as the tree was set ablaze with orange, red, and blue flames dancing around the trunk being tamed just enough by the rain to prevent a forest fire.

"Alright John, you win, we can go back to sleep now. As we agreed only until the tree ignites." Sherlock spoke calmly abruptly breaking his position and turning to a soaked John.

"I… Fine." John shook his head and stood walking back to the tent and shaking off under the tarp and taking a towel from inside. John dried his face, feet and legs since he was wearing a jacket to protect him. Sherlock however, promptly put the fire out and marched into the tent soaking wet and dripping. He immediately climbed into his sleeping bag sopping wet.

"You're not going to change into dry clothes?" John asked. When he was greeted with silence, he added, "You could get hypothermia like that!"

"Can't be bothered to change." Sherlock replied.

"Why not?"

Silence.

"Fine. I don't even know how you intend to sleep like that, but fine." John stated, rolling his eyes and getting into his own sleeping bag.

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The next morning, John awoke to the sun shining brightly into the mesh of the top of the tent. John dressed and unzipped the tent door and slipped his shoes on. Sherlock was sitting in one of the camp chairs sipping tea and staring at the mountains.

"John, can we hike up to those mountains, I have a… experiment" Sherlock asked turning his head to John standing there

"Up there?!" John exclaimed.

"Yes. Where else?" Sherlock asked obviously.

"I thought you said this was the only good ground for experiments!" John continued.

"Well, I was reviewing my **pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis **studies, and on the peak of that mountain would be perfect to test a theory!" Sherlock explained as if John was his parent and he was convincing him to let him go out with a girl.

"No." John answered as he boiled some water for his own tea.

"PLEASE JOHN! I thought the reason for this trip was of the purpose of keeping me entertained!" Sherlock whined. John stared at Sherlock not convinced and went back to the tent to get a mug.

When John came back to the sitting area, Sherlock was gone.

_Sherlock, what have you done now! _John thought as he ran off to the path to the mountains. After seven hours John reached the peak of the mountain to find Sherlock perched in a tree with a telescope.

"Sherlock… what the hell… I… have been… running for… hours…" John stammered out of breath, panting profusely.

"Oh calm down John, no matter what you said, you knew I would come up anyways." Sherlock replied stoically. John rolled his eyes

"Yeah, I guess so. What are you doing?" John was able to get out taking a deep breath

"Scanning the area for higher peaks, looks like there are no others, so we will stay here." Sherlock decided. Sherlock grabbed the branch form underneath him and tried to step down onto the next he hesitated and approached it another way.

"Are you stuck?" John asked on the brink of laughing.

"No. I most certainly am not!" Sherlock replied trying to keep his dignity as well as climb down.

"You so are." John started to laugh.

"Nonsense! I am not stuck!" Sherlock insisted. Sherlock tried many times without success.

"Okay, I'm stuck. Get me down John." Sherlock said awkwardly.

"Says the guy who isn't stuck." John replied with a smirk taking a sandwich out of a bag that he grabbed before he followed Sherlock and sitting down on a chipped rock.

"JJJJOOOOHHHHNNNN!" Sherlock whined.

"Fine." John replied as he stood and pulled on Sherlock's leg. Sherlock lost his balance and fell on the ground as John stepped aside walking back to his sandwich.

"John, get off of that rock. I need that rock for my studies." Sherlock pointed out,

"okay…" John answered stepping away from the rock. Sherlock took a scalpel from his pocket and chipped away at the rock breaching in the dust it created heavily like he had when Henry Knight had been smoking.

"What are you doing?!" John asked

"Trying to develop pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis disease, it's a disease in which if you inhale to much silica dust your lungs clog." Sherlock replied in between breaths.

"SHERLOCK, YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME THAT! I'M A DOCTOR FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! STOP!" John yelled concerned. John managed to pull Sherlock away from the rock.

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Sherlock opened his eyes to a dim yellow light in his face. He looked out the mesh window, it was dark, and John was sitting beside him eating stew.

"Sherlock, your awake! You've been asleep for hours." John exclaimed.

"What? How did I…?" Sherlock started but was interrupted by a heavy cough.

"You started coughing profusely, you couldn't breathe. Then… you kind of passed out." John explained. Sherlock gasped for more air, while coughing once more.

"Sherlock, here." John said handing him tea with honey.

"Thank you." Sherlock stammered sipping the tea graciously. Sherlock drank about 15 cups of tea until the pair had to sleep. John watched over Sherlock as he fell asleep.


End file.
